There are two things I know for sure as I sit down to write this. The first – Carrie Fisher is my spirit animal. And the second is as human beings, we seem to be born with thousands of incomplete circuits looking for closure. Some find it in religion, others in connecting with specific people. Some find it in the perfect shoes or jeans. Me, I find my circuits connect when I find the right words. Which is how I know that Carrie Fisher is my spirit animal. The brilliant words she wrote and spoke during her all too brief existence closed circuits for me. (Yes, I think she’d laugh out loud at my proclamation but I’m rolling with it anyway)
So it’s not a surprise that as my days pass and I start to wonder about my relevance in the world, I’m finding more and more often, I just need to Go Write Through It. It doesn’t matter what “it” actually is — it could be work, friendships, the way my dog only showed me her butt in the morning when I slaved over an open bag of kibble for seconds to put down her Weight Control meal — you name it. I sit. I write. I read. I find things that make me think, that give me goosebumps or even make me get up and go for a walk. But when I find the right words, it’s like a desert getting rain for the first time in a year. Blooms rise up from the caked mud around me and I feel like Julie Andrews on the mountain top above the Abbey singing “The HILLS are alive… with the sound of… key strokes?”
I write for a living, and I write for my hobby. I’m an incredibly boring guest at cocktail parties. People ask me what I do for a living and they ask me what I do for fun – and the answer is the same. No, I don’t walk the trails in the foothills with my dog. No, I don’t watch all that much TV because I don’t think the writing is all that great anymore. Yes, I listen to songs on repeat until I can spit out the lyrics by heart and I watch movies when they’re well done. I keep my eye out for women in strong roles in movies and in life because I feel like in their decisions I can see a bit of my smart, funny, driven self perhaps making the same choices.
And through it all, just like Carrie did, I go write through it.