It’s January 2018 as I write this, and according to everyone with anything to sell, today is THE DAY on which I can begin my transformation into the 365-day-a-year goddess my inner child has forever wanted me to be.
To say the least, I’m skeptical. But in the spirit of January Firsts, I launched “eat more vegetables.” With just a single head of cauliflower in the fridge, I did what I always do. I googled what to do with a single head of cauliflower. It led me to the recipe for Roasted Cauliflower Soup.
I set about butchering the cauliflower so it could soak for 20 minutes in lightly salted water, a move that provided another win for my New Year’s Resolutions. A guru I follow recommends salt baths to eliminate negative energy from your life. Maybe if I soak all my vegetables in salt water, I’ll stop hating them.
With the broiler on and the cauliflower basking in its rays, I immediately ignored sautéing the onion and mincing the fresh garlic that I didn’t have, and dug through the cabinet for the minced onion flakes and garlic powder. I splashed some olive oil into the stock pot, threw in my dehydrated food wonders and read the rest of the recipe.
“Combine all ingredients. Simmer 25 minutes. When cauliflower is tender, emulsify with immersion blender.”
The funeral for my last immersion blender was in January 2012 when I tried to make hummus. Since Roasted Cauliflower Soup has every opportunity to change my 2018 life, I should order a new immersion blender while it’s simmering. To Amazon!
Among the 44 incoming emails that downloaded as I searched Amazon for blenders, my eye was caught by a single word: doorbell.
My house has no doorbell, just the faint reminder of where one once was.
I’ll spare you the 15 minute adventure of rearranging my toolbox to find the voltmeter I’ve known I’ve needed to find since August to test the doorbell wires. Suffice to say, I learned I also have three levels, a metric hex wrench set and a hand plane tool – your guess is as good as mine as to why. Slipping out the front door and peeling back the blob of paint over the wires yielded the satisfying voltmeter BEEP!
Back to Amazon!
Blender selected, I typed in “doorbell.” HOLY MOLY! Do I need a $200 video doorbell? No. Who needs a $200 doorbell? Wait, what did other people look at? Outdoor security cameras!
That being said, blender plus doorbell plus security cameras in less than 25 minutes is January 2018’s recipe for $157.97 Roasted Cauliflower Soup — with optional toolbox reorganization. Take that, Resolutions!